Faith Above/Before Understanding!

I can give you a lengthy list of hundreds of reasons why it would be a good idea to go home. Go home now...and forget the trouble of trying to make this coast to coast to coast thing work. Tony, how will you pay your bills? How could your body possibly endure the miles, weather, and stress? Why would you choose to leave your wife and kids Tony? ...after all, they deserve to have you home with them...right?!?

When I was deciding whether or not to join the Army as a 17 year old young man, I sat down and made a list. On the left side of the paper I wrote Pro's, and on the right side I wrote Con's. For two months I contemplated the decision and jotted notes on each side of the paper. I asked all my friends and family to give me their opinions, so I could have even further guidance. Once I was certain I had the proper guidance and the support from everyone who meant something to me...I decided to join the Army to serve my country. This is how many people approach life altering decisions, and it is an honorable way to do so. My decision today was not reached through these respectable means.

I can't tell you one single logical reason why this is a good idea. In fact, everything in me suggests that it would be a great idea to just go home...job well done! Look at the awareness that has been raised just from these past two weeks. Run Hope Live has been highlighted in dozens of papers, written about on websites, aired on TV news stations, and shared on Facebook to thousands if not millions. We have reached not only all across the country, but has even been picked up on news agencies around the world. I tell myself, "Tony, you have already brought so much attention to this epidemic...there is no reason to continue." No one would ever be disappointed if I called it quits and headed home to my family...where I belong. But, what about God?

For the most part...I know what to expect if I were to go home. But, I don't have a clue what will happen if I continue on. There comes a point where I reach the end of my understanding, and move into territory sustained only by all His glory! Until this point is reached I have the luxury of claiming these accomplishments as my own, and have full bragging rights pointing back at me. But, once I move into "faith above understanding" territory...God is the only one that can be praised. Trusting God without understanding of how He will provide. It is alright to not have all the answers. He alone paves the way, meets the need (Philippians 4:19), and is the only source of strength. All I get to that I was a willing servant. After all, I am just a simple man...full of sin. My life is so full of sin that I would be too embarrassed to discuss it. I am not worthy of this mission...never have been...never will be! This is all about God and what He is doing! Those who know Jesus understand exactly what I am saying...even those who don't know Jesus yet...understand. It seems so complicated...but is as simple as believing. Even those who may criticize the decision for all the reasons that are outlined above...know deep down that something bigger than themselves is at work here.

My family does deserve to have me there! But they also deserve to have the spiritual head of the house (me)...actually follow the call for which God has called him, groomed him, and seasoned him to do. I can't afford not to follow through. The need has arrived to trust that God is at work in their hearts and minds as well. He will provide for their needs in my absence. I could actually rob them of an amazing chance to strengthen their faith through what will be very difficult times. I would be playing God if I acted like I knew a better way to do all of this than He. Maybe because of this (run), my kids might grow up to follow their amazing dreams that go far above and beyond anything I do. Or, I can teach them how to give up on their dreams, because it was too hard. That is the real choice here. My family supports me, loves me, and believes in this journey. I am a very lucky man! 

I am continuing on in my mission to San Francisco and beyond! Gone are my worries, excuses, and insecurities. I have clear direction that I MUST follow. My mother always told me to go after dreams without to never have any regret! This is for you mom =) ...I now have a new mission partner named Jennifer Henderson from Texas who will be managing many of the logistical, planning, and organizing responsibilities for me. Now, I can focus on running and dedicated these runs to our beloved lost loved ones...who deserve to be remembered forever. We will post more information about this soon. We will also provide better information on the planned route (towns/cities), and ways to contribute to this great cause. I'm willing to log the miles, but true awareness comes from everyone joining our mission in some small way! Thank you for the amazing support and God bless.

1 comment:

  1. God will guide and provide for you on this journey Tony. You will be in my daily prayers. God speed my friend.